Starting Over Talk - Peer Coaching Support Site

Thursday May 19, 2005

The Starting Over gals are still in Vegas. It is the end of Layne’s wedding to self and Rhonda is speaking to everyone and tells them that they are here to celebrate Layne graduating. Layne has longed to be married and was engaged three times. They show multiple flashbacks from Layne’s time in the Starting Over house. Layne learned a lot through the exercises and grew. She learned to voice her feelings and needs. They show Layne talking to and supporting Allison and Karen. Rhonda says it’s been an honor to be Layne’s LifeCoach. Dr. Stan talks about how difficult it is to fall in love and choose to love. Allison says she’s jealous of Layne and points out that Layne lights up the room. Allison says Layne is a mirror image of herself. How could she not love herself? Layne joins the Lifecoaches to receive a gift of a woman’s only trip for a destination of her choice- worth $3,000. (A honeymoon.) Her trophy says Layne, Ms. Right, Starting Over Graduate. Layne tells them all she will love them for the rest of her life, she is grateful, she loves them and it is an unbelievable experience.

The ladies go out to eat and we see them happy and laughing. Vanessa gives a toast and points out that Miss Layniepoo, who is a pain in their ass because she is staying in the house, and they have to look at her perfectness and she’s a mentor. They all laugh and look at ease. They look like they are getting a bit too happy. (I know that didn’t seem to make sense what Vanessa said. I don’t know if it’s editing or too much to drink!) Then they are kind of teasing. Megg laughs and says it will be a running joke for the rest of her life. . . Out of the closet and into the elevator. Allison says to our favorite lesbian and raises her glass. Vanessa says in confessional that Megg has talked to the SOG’s and telling them she has been questioning her preferences and they are having fun with Megg but she is taking it all in stride. They SOG’s think something is up with Karen. The ladies ask Karen if she is OK. Megg leaves the table and Karen admits she didn’t get enough sleep last night with the Tess situation. A cake is delivered to the table; Layne gets to cut the cake and they all laugh.

It is the next morning and Vanessa talks with Dr. Stan. They talk about tonight's performance on “The V Show”. In the past she didn’t want to perform if she was overweight and it wasn’t perfect. She is perfectly comfortable now. They talk about the Olympic trials four years ago. Vanessa slipped on her second event and it went downhill after that. Not getting on the Olympic team was what she wanted but didn’t know it.

Iyanla meets with Allison. it is the morning of the fundraiser. Allison thinks they are ready. It has been a hard week for Allison. Allison tells Iyanla she’s jealous of Layne. Iyanla tells Allison that after this week she should look Layne eyeball to eyeball. Iyanla says in confessional it is not jealousy. It’s insecurity. Iyanla says Allison needs to get out there and live. Iyanla asks Allison what is our intention today. Allison says to raise awareness. Iyanla says no, what is your intention for you. Allison says to matter. Yes! Allison says I do matter. Allison will live out loud and do something that matters.

When Vanessa quit she was in the top twenty of gymnasts. Vanessa said she wanted to be remembered for what she accomplished in gymnastics. Dr. Stan asks if Vanessa’s parents know about tonight and she says they do and they are proud of her. They say they would like to be there and are surprised she did something on her own with dance. Vanessa is smiling and looks happy. She doesn’t know it but her parents will be there to watch her perform tonight. In the past she’s worried about letting others down. If those thoughts creep in she could have a set back. Dr. Stan tells her good luck and go enjoy it.

Allison gives Betsy Mullen, who is the Founder and CEO of WIN against breast cancer. Allison evidently helped plan and is the MC. (Master of Ceremonies.) There is an area of stitch to win against breast cancer. The tapestries will go together. Rhonda comes to give Allison support. The people come to stitch an inch to save a life. Rhonda points out that these women may be helping save Allison’s life.

Vanessa is practicing and warming up. She’s feeling the pressure and is afraid she may mess up. Dancing is new to her so it is a possibility.

Karen and Layne hand out passes to people downstairs to attend the Breast Cancer survivor fundraiser.

Dr. Stan meets with Megg. Iyanla told Dr. Stan about the sexuality revelation. They go driving around in the car to have a discussion. Dr. Stan tells ehr he doesn’t think it is just about enclosed spaces; that something else is going on. Megg agrees.

We see people stitching at the fundraiser. Allison tells the crowd her story. A year ago she was diagnosed with breast cancer with a tumor the size of an apple. Twelve weeks ago she was bald with no eyelashes. Now she’s learning how to live and helping to raise money and awareness to help stop this disease. We see Allison talking, laughing and hugging people. Allison is in her element- she has a gift of compassion and connecting with others. It appears that Maureen Brower, Director of the Governor’s Law Vegas office, gives Allison some type of recognition sheet. There were 216,000 women that were diagnosed with Breast caner in 2004. They were two of them.

Dr. Stan and Megg discuss that Megg never thought about being with a woman because with women it would be an emotional issue because with men it’s about sex. Megg doesn’t want to be emotionally vulnerable with anyone because she fears that she can’t really love someone and give them what they need. She fears lesbian.

Carrie Ann and Leslie are there to help Vanessa get ready. This is a chance to form a new identity for Vanessa. Vanessa is wearing jeans, a shirt and a pink jacket shirt thing with chains. Her hair is pulled back and she looks great.

Dr. Stan tells Megg that a couple has needs. It is sharing and coming back and forth. In the past Megg felt used but she didn’t know what she was getting out of the relationship because she wasn’t getting her needs met. Dr. tells her she is having a great day.

Allison meets with Dr. Stan. She’s tired but a good tired. This is the first time she ahs done this and she did a great job. Dr. Stan says it’s a victory for Allison.

Vanessa is feeling nervous. It feels like a competition but her helpers, Carrie Ann and Leslie, tell her she is just performing. She spend so many years blaming her parents for pushing her in gymnastics and wishes her parents were there. Her Mom says Vanessa will be shocked when she sees them. Vanessa performs and she does great. (There are no words to really make it visual. Sorry) There are a lot of gymnastic moves in her performance and it looks a lot like a floor routine. They show the reactions of her helpers, SOG’s, LC’s and parents. Vanessa seems so happy out there and her Mom was happy to see that and thinks she has started over. Afterwards she gets flowers and hugs from the Lifecoaches and housemates. Rhonda says in this celebratory mode she has a surprise for Vanessa. Her parents walk in and Vanessa gives her Mom a huge hug and Vanessa laughs and her Mom cries. Her dad, Ted, gives her a medal that says dare to dream. Her Mom, Nanette, says this means more because Vanessa did this on her own. Rhonda announces Vanessa will be graduating. Vanessa has learned to gain her own medals through her own successes. Vanessa is happy, had fun and felt like she finished something. It gave her a lot of confidence.

The SOG’s are back in their suit at the hotel and Allison gets a visit from Betsy Mullen to thank Allison for her help. Between the sponsor donations and donations at the event they raised over ten thousand dollars. Allison realizes she has her own talents. She doesn’t have to be jealous.

Layne says that Karen has been keeping to herself. She is dazed and out of it. Karen says her ultimate goal feels far out of reach. If she doesn’t succeed what is left?

On the next Starting Over. . .

**Karen careens out of control. Allison says she walks into a wall, fallen and broken a plate. She’s a mess.

**The women take immediate action- Layne says Karen doesn’t seem right. You see an ambulance pull up. Vanessa says it seems Karen is on drugs or something. Something is wrong.

**And what happens next changes her life forever. We hear Layne whisper into the phone she found a bottle of vodka and that Karen seems bad. Layne doesn’t know what to do.






<br><br>Post edited by: dbmcmommy, at: 2005/05/23 23:02

Thank you for posting wednesday show dbmcmommy I was waiting for tuesdays show to be posted before I posted wed. It would of been from tvgal too as I havent watched the show yet meself


Thanks again db.

Haven't seen the show yet...I watch at 1 am, so here's this one and maybe once I've seen it, I'll add little tidbits then.

The housemates leave Las Vegas and head back to their home in Los Angeles.

Back at the house, Vanessa has her final meeting with Dr. Stan, who asks her about her boyfriend. Vanessa believes it will be hard for Michael to accept her new independence. As far as her career goes, Vanessa wants to take classes, dance and teach competitive gymnastics. I think one of her biggest challenges will in fact be Michael. Let's hope that he can support her goals and that she stays on track with them even if he doubts her.

Meanwhile, Allison is frustrated that Megg doesn’t yet feel comfortable discussing her sexuality with the other housemates. Megg sits at the dining room table trying to rationalize why she feels more comfortable with women and concludes her feelings towards women are not sexual.

Karen has learned that her daughters will not be able to come to the STARTING OVER house, so she will create a video to send to them. But she doesn’t want to do the video and feels herself shutting down and going back to old, bad habits. In the middle of the day, Karen walks into a wall and falls down in the hallway, spilling a bowl of soup. She looks disoriented; almost dizzy all day long. She spends a lot of the episode in her underwear, which to me was a bit of a scream for help; what with being on camera and all for the world to see. Vanessa believes Karen might be on some type of drug and when asked if she took anything, Karen denies it. While Karen lies in bed, Layne calls Iyanla to make her aware of what’s going on. Karen stumbles to the phone. Iyanla asks what is wrong and why she sounds so odd. She finally tells Iyanla that a week and a half ago Megg tried to kiss her. That was a week and a half ago though, so Iyanla isn't buying that! Iyanla is convinced that Karen is on some type of drug and orders her to provide a urine sample. Iyanla also asks Layne to search Karen’s bathroom for drugs and alcohol.

Layne feels conflicted about looking for &quot;evidence&quot; that will get Karen in trouble. Eventually, Layne locates some prescription drugs and bottle of vodka in Karen’s bathroom cupboard, so Iyanla instructs her to call 911. She feels badly when the 911 dispatcher informs her that due to all she's just told him, the police will answer the call as well. What a first mentor assignment! The paramedics question Karen about what she has taken. She admits to having bought the vodka that same day and though it looks about 2/3 gone, she claims not to have drank all that. They eventually take her away in an ambulance. She comes home in a cab at what looked to be very very early morning.

The next morning, the women express their concern for Karen. Karen admits to the women that she set out to get drunk yesterday. Prior to coming to the STARTING OVER house, Karen hadn’t had anything to drink in two years, but never thought she had a problem because she could stop when she wanted for months at a time. She admits that she could have gotten drunk as a way of avoiding the video tape assignment. Dr. Stan believes this behavior Karen has exhibited was her way of telling them that she is hurting. He asks her if this was one of the reasons for the distance in her relationship with her daughter Anna. She admits so. Dr. Stan believes that if Karen goes into rehab, her daughter Anna might feel tremendous relief and it may be the breakthrough that she has been hoping her mom would experience.

In group, a decision is made to postpone Vanessa’s graduation so that they can see Karen through her difficult time. Each of the women verbally notes their feelings on the prior evening. All are worried of course, Allison believes the problem is very serious as do they all seem to. Megg notes that she needs to know more before really being able to say how she feels about it, but admits that she's &quot;pissed&quot;. The women will convene later for a group meeting to discuss how to help Karen.

Next week: The fallout from Karen's &quot;binge&quot; and definite hints at confronting the accusation that Megg tried to kiss her. And let's hope Miss Vanessa finally gets her graduation!<br><br>Post edited by: netty, at: 2005/05/21 02:16

Hi ladies
I am posting this so early cause I am going on a day trip and do not want any of you to miss what looks to be a great show...
Sorry it is so early I know most of you will not have seen the show yet so fair warning this is the Mondays show
Hugs for everyone


Original posting by Doggiemom4


The show starts in group, Rhonda tells them all there will be a meeting that night to talk with Karen, and Vanessa's graduation will be the next night. Vanessa sits in the &quot;love seat&quot; and they show her steps and self-portraits. Andy arrives to take Vanessa for her makeover.

Dr Stan meets with Megg, he's taking her to the airport to take a short flight. In confessional Megg says she's scared, but she also seems to be excited.

Karen gets back into bed, in confessional she says she set herself up to fail, to support the image she had of herself as a sad, sorry wreck of a human being.

Dr Stan meets with Allison. The doctors want her to lose 20 lbs. before her surgery, so a nationally recognized nutritionist is coming to meet with her.

Andy and Vanessa go to Medak for clothes. Vanessa says it always hard to find things that fit b/c she's short but has big muscular thighs and arms. Later they go to get her hair done at Sager French for hair. She wants highlights and a bit shorter for dancing.

In the cab on the way to the airport, Dr Stan tells Megg what Karen said about Megg trying to kiss her. Megg says she's very comfortable with women, but she thinks it's because she's afraid of men. She says she's very clear now that her preference is for men, she's sexually attracted to men, but she's afraid of them. She says with men she doesn't feel valued as anything other than a sexual object. Dr Stan and Megg agree that the root of her phobias seems to be a self-esteem issue. In confessional Dr Stan says he's not going to push the sexuality issue.

Aliison's nutritionist arrives, Stephen Gullo. He tells her she has the power to end a lifetime of weight problems. He talks about changing her thinking and behaviour. Two tips he gives her are that soup is the #1 appetite suppressant, and that cinnamon has zero calories, and kills appetite, promotes weight loss, and helps to stabilize blood sugar. He recommend white meat and green veggies. He emphasizes that it's not just a diet, but taking control of lifestyle and food.

Layne is talking to Karen, who seems defeated and positive she's going to be kicked out. Layne is trying to get her to realize that it's bigger than that, and she needs treatment.

At the airport, Megg is nervous because, unlike an elevator, she could be stuck in the plane for a long time, and it's very small inside. She's anxious but excited. Once they're up in the air, Megg says she feels great, she cries a bit, but from happiness!

Vanessa looks great, her hair is shoulder length, highlighted, straight, and has lots of layers. (JMO, she looks somewhat like a classy Britney Spears, I mean it as a compliment!) She gets some compliments, but not as much attention as usual, because of the other things going on.

Dr Stan and Rhonda get everyone together to surprise Megg. He tells her she's graduating the next day, with Vanessa. She seems more upset than happy.

Then everyone goes into the loft for the big meeting. Iyanla asks Karen to start. She says that in Las Vegas it was hard for her to keep up with the others, lots of late nights, so she was feeling not a part of the group. She also says she was nervous about doing the video for Anna and she didn't want to feel the way she was feeling. She says she drank a pint of vodka, but didn't take any pills.

Dr Stan then asks the others to talk, and to be very direct. Vanessa talks about hiding things, and that they all saw the prescription Karen got filled in Las Vegas.

Dr Stan asks Karen about that, and she says she thought she was supposed to fill the prescription, but when she got it she remembered she'd been taken off it. Dr Stan rephrases it as she felt anxious in Las Vegas so she thought she'd need the pills. Karen agrees with that and says she didn't take any. Rhonda tells her to go and get the pills. Karen comes back with the pills and gives them to Iyanla who checks to make sure they're all there. In confessional Layne says she thinks the LCs are looking at the rule about causing harm to self or others.

Rhonda asks Layne if she thinks it was just alcohol, and Layne says she thinks Karen has a problem with prescription drugs as well. In confessional Dr Stan says one sign of an addiction is hiding and Karen didn't tell the truth about filling the prescription in Las Vegas, and she hid the vodka in her room.

Iyanla tells Karen she's in denial, and her behavior is not normal. She brings up what Karen said about Megg trying to kiss her. Karen says she was just trying to come up with something, and she didn't even remember saying that. Iyanla tells her that her speaking just betrayed her. Karen apologizes to Megg and says she was trying to blame Megg for her own behavior. Megg thanks her for admitting that.

Karen says something did happen that confused her, but she wants to bring it up privately with Megg. Megg says she'd prefer not to do it in group, but she would like one of the coaches there. So Iyanla stays with Megg and Karen and the others leave.

Karen talks about one night when she was very upset, Megg was very comforting to her, but Karen felt the hug went on too long, and that when Megg kissed her on the cheek she meant to kiss her on the mouth. She was also confused by Megg offering to lie down with her and hold her. Karen felt there were sexual overtones. Megg says there were not, that she was just trying to comfort Karen, she could see that she was torn up inside. She tells Karen if she gets confused again to ask, she just made a whole mess that didn't need to be. Karen says she's sorry, they hug, and Megg leaves.

Iyanla asks Karen about the assignment to video a message to Anna. Karen says she can do it tomorrow, but Iyanla wants her to do it now.

Layen asks Megg what Karen was confused about and Megg tells her. Megg says she can see how Karen might have misinterpreted it, and that this whole thing is actually a good thing, now she knows that she doesn't care what anyone thinks about her.

Iyanla is getting Karen to do the video, in confessional Iyanla says that tonight Karen has been forced to face the naked truth, and perhaps Anna will recognize Karen's committment. Karen stops part way through, but Iyanla coaches her and she keeps going. Karen confesses on the tape that she got drunk, and says that in the morning she will be checking in to an inpatient rehab program. She also admits that she has an addiction. In confessional Iyanla says she suspects that Karen doesn't believe what she's saying, but at least she's willing to begin the rehabilitation process.

Iyanla goes to see Megg, she's concerned about Megg's reaction to the news she's graduating. Megg thinks she's not ready, she hasn't changed that much. Iyanla tells her the ultimate solution is within her, not in the house. But Megg is very scared.

Previews:
Megg struggles to move forward. It looks like she's trying to do a self-portrait. She says to Layne &quot;I don't want to participate in graduation, I do not want a makeover. Nothing's changed.&quot; In confessional Layne says &quot;She's really stuck right now.&quot;

Karen fights for her life. She's in the loft with Iyanla and Allison, maybe it's group? and she says &quot;Just at my age, to be in a place like this, I just feel so ashamed.&quot;

And Vanessa receives an emotional farewell from an old friend. We see Bethany at the graduation, and she looks very nice.

hope this did not get lost with other posts.
HS will not be happy if she thinks I messed up on posting the show My first time doing a favor for her and I think I messed up

Hugs. you did not mess it up. You did great! Exactly what I would have done. Great job filling in!

('And you know mine are usually late. I am too busy. I hope my late posts don't make anyone mad.)