Starting Over Talk - Peer Coaching Support Site

Thank you so much, hsmom.

[size=5]Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

I appreciate the time you take to do the recaps.
Thank you! Great job.[/size]

Monday, March 28, 2005


Candy talked to her son in jail. He said I wish you were here. She said I love you and support you.

Tess came to the house. She is a pretty little black girl. Tess is from New Jersey, married, and has a little boy. It is her birthday is today, and she is 30. She has been married one year, but together for nine years, and has cheated on her husband, and he has on her. She wants to save her marriage. Candy said to Tess how could you dishonor yourself by cheating. (!). She said she hasn’t lost all of the weight from having her baby. Allison says I’m gonna kill her, and she laughs. Iyanla tells the camera the women don’t get it, that a beautiful girl with all that on the outside can be so hurt and broken on the inside. She felt ignored as a child; her sister got hit by a van and was in the hospital for a year. Tess only got attention when she achieved something. She felt like she was never good enough. Rachael and Tess relate, and are getting along well.

Iyanla met with Candy, and she told her about her son’s decision to just take what the courts give him. Iyanla is proud of Candy for claiming her power, and wants her to interview people about how people see women in a power role.

Iyanla and Allison met at restaurant to discuss diet and health issues. She told her everything she puts in her mouth has to be life-affirming. They discussed food, and options for her. She has to eat to live. Macrobiotics is the focus she needs to take.

Tess is at the bridal shop, trying on dresses. She is in a Cinderella dress, so uncomfortable. Rhonda said this how she has been living, the dream, and the fantasy of a Cinderella wedding.

Candy interviewed people on the street, and had some great answers. The guys really like powerful women; they see the value of power.

Rhonda and Tess discuss love and her steps. She sees love as blissful and secure. Rhonda says then based on that definition she doesn’t love her husband unconditionally. She needs to work on laws of love, power of sex, use appropriate communication, accept responsibility. She tries on an elegant wedding gown, and feels this is how she wants to live, simple, and elegant.

Allison and Iyanla are at the restaurant discussing diet. Allison says she is addicted to suffering. Iyanla says to look all the ways she seeks acceptance, and validation. She says she is broken inside, and Iyanla says she doesn’t have the luxury of messing around. She has to make the right choices according to her food needs. She is ready to be healthy.

Tess has to make a timeline of her relationship with her husband. She does not trust anyone, and says it is reality that people can’t be trusted.

Candy said independence and inner strength are some of the comments people gave her for what makes a women powerful. Iyanla tells her that her job is different from her power as a woman. She needs to find and define her purpose, find her power.

Rachael told Tessa there probably warning signs with her husband. Tess doesn’t want to leave; she wants to save her marriage. Tess says to the camera the very person she sees she can relate to is the person she might have trouble with, Rachael.

A Pilates instructor came to the house to teach the ladies. Tess is sitting off to the sides. The ladies enjoy it, and do well. Feel that powerhouse!

Tess and Rachael are roommates, and trying to get along and get in touch with each other. Rachael said to the camera Tess is defensive. Candy said she was sorry she hurt her feelings. Then Tess called Vincent and torn apart Candy! The music in the background was dark and ominous. Her husband said don’t you have anything positive to tell me?

Next, Tess comes to face a reality, Vanessa faces a truth about her relationship, and Bethany is on a date.

Tuesday, March 28, 2005

Tess asks Candy how she modified her diet and Candy tells her she doesn’t eat all the time. Tess tells Candy that the way Candy is doing it will make her binge. Tess said that she read an article that tells you to eat grapefruit after every meal because she heard the acid helps to break down the food.

Rhonda meets with Vanessa and they talk about all the ways she beats herself up facing failure. Rhonda gives her a ball and chain and she is to write down her failures on the ball, what she uses to beat herself down. She writes fat, gave up, weak. She is writing them down and laughing and Rhonda tells her she laughs when she wants to cry. Vanessa has to exercise, eat a healthy lunch, clean room, do laundry, and shop on Melrose with her ball and chain. She needs to interact with people and cannot hide in her room. They will meet and talk about it later on.

Group is with Rhonda today. It is about Compliments, romance and lasting love. She gives out roses with compliments attached. Allison got a card that says you are so amazing. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. She can‘t imagine and that makes her sad. Bethany’s says you take my breath away and she wonders what they are looking at but feels special. Vanessa’s says I get lost in your eyes and she laughs and says it is cheesy but laughs. She evaluates compliments to see if it is true or not and will accept compliment in her own way and decide if it is a good one or not. This riles Rhonda up and Rhonda asks if they need a list of compliments in the house to give her. Candy’s says you are intoxicating and she says thank you. At the first when she came in the house she wouldn't have accepted it and now she does. Rachael's says she has a beautiful smile. She says thank you and that she has heard that a lot. Tess’s says that you have the most sensuous lips. The SOG’s discover that if the compliment doesn’t hit her the right way she gets mad. The compliments can be romantic gesture or a gesture out of love. Vanessa says at the beginning of the relationship she doesn’t believe it but later on after they deal with her she will believe it. Vanessa uses a safe way to test love and Rhonda says she doesn’t really believe that Vanessa truly loves her boyfriend. Rhonda is concerned about her love being true love and Vanessa says she doesn’t love herself. Vanessa says she may find out after graduating from the Starting Over House if it is a true love because she doesn’t know how it will be when she gets home. Bethany doesn’t know true love. Candy has had love both ways. Candy says she doesn’t worry about her love with her boyfriend because it is true love. Vanessa says that her relationship is the same as Candy’s relationship so why does she get told she has a bad relationship with her boyfriend? They tell her that Candy loves Robert and is secure in her love and can see by his actions that she is loved. Vanessa questions her boyfriend Michael’s love. Bethany goes to the love seat and learns that she completed another step, Give up charade. She feels like she has really earned this step. Bethany will meet with a dating coach tonight. She asks the housemates to give her questions to ask the dating coach tonight.

Vanessa says it is hard to move with her ball and chain on her wrist. She says it is a pain in the butt and whines about the ball. she is doing exercises and keeps moving the ball around to do what she needs to do.

Rhonda meets with Tess. They go over the timeline of her married life. They met in 1996 and their commitment to be monogamous was in 1997. He had an affair and then they reestablished the commitment in 1997. In 1999 he had another affair and she withheld emotionally and she never forgave him. It was in 2002 she had the affair and said that it made him horrible. They both had another affair in 2003 and then after that they decided to get married and stay together. For only 6 months of their relationship they were both faithful. Tess sees that it wasn’t long at all. It was only 6 months in a 7 year relationship. Tess’s viewpoint is distorted. Tess goes to get Bethany. They will go to the jewish community center today to interview couples and find out the key to love. After that Tess is to call her husband and ask him what he wants in their relationship.

Vanessa goes shopping with Rachael on Melrose. Vanessa is embaressed about walking around with the ball and chain. She says everyone is reading it and can tell what she feels.

Tess and Bethany meet with Betsy and David. They tell the story of how they met and say it was fate. Love ages with time and endures if the love is there. There have been dissappointments and tragedy’s but sharing different opinions. They comprimise and have gone through tough times but they has stuck to it through thick and thin. They have trust and honesty. They get some great info from the couple.

Vanessa says that her ball hurts her wrist so she realizes that her feelings have hurt her. she understands it is about how these feelings have affected her life.

Bethany is getting ready for her evening and borrows some earrings from Tess. She knows it isn’t a date but she is still nervous. Allison helps with her hair while Bethany is getting ready.

Rhonda comes to meet with Vanessa to find out if dragging her regrets and failure around all day has affected her. She says that carrying it around all day makes her want to give up. She realizes that some of the things on the ball are hurting towards her. Rhonda says it is Ok to feel and Vanessa is crying about her ball and chain and wants to say good-bye to her regrets and failures, her ball and chain. They get to burry the ball and she really gets into digging the hole. She is glad when she can’t see it anymore and feels a weight lifted. She feels good about it because she is a great person.

Bethany is nervous when she meets the dating coach, Matthew Dunn, who is nice looking. They head out for dinner and discussion.

Rhonda meets with Tess again to find out what she has learned about love and commitment. She says she has learned that love is based on trust, respect and stick-to-it-tiveness. Some of the love laws are trust and togetherness but realizes that you don’t have to be together all the time because we are all individuals.

Bethany’s dating coach talks about Bethany’s fears and says that she feels that no man will see her as unattractive. If Bethany has confidence she will not get rejected. If she needs a guy to complete her because she will feel rejected. He asks if she is comfortable with intimacy and kissing guys and she turns red and says really comfortable. (This was said very sarcastically.)

Tess calls her husband and tells him about what she did today. She tells him that she realizes the betrayals in the relationships took up 6 1/2 out of 7 years. He doesn’t seem into the conversation.

Bethany tells Matthew she feels awkward when she was kissed. Bethany wonders why men haven't asked her out and he tells her that if she feels pretty, attractive and sexy than she will be perceived as such. If she perceives herself that way it will come off that way. A turn off on a first date is a needy woman and constantly talking about themselves. Bethany feels like she can now go out and have fun and start dating. She really had fun and learned a lot.

Tess says that she wants to be able to trust her husband and have him trust her. Tess asks if he will take ownership of what he did and they realize that they have seen the worst in each other.

Bethany comes back and tells the SOG’s how her night went. They tease her about her rose. Dating is about going out and having a good time. Bethany tells them that she needs to see herself sexier and that will help her with dating.

Vanessa realizes that she has beat herself up and doesn’t want to live the rest of her life that way. She says that it is sad for her to see that and realize it.

On the next SO-------------

**Rachael releases years of pent up rage. And she struggles to deal with a painful discovery.
**Tess rubs everyone the wrong way


OK> On a personal note, what is up with Rhonda’s outfit again today? A strange colored green jacket with a robins egg blue shirt underneath? I think she needs to have her eyes checked for colorblindness!! Just my opinion. And I’m telling it to you.

I hope you all enjoyed today’s show. And remember, “Be a great day!

Wow, thanks, db. You do such a wonderful and through job recapping us. Great job!!!!!

Thanks, hsmom. You do a great job also! I always get the feel of the show when you do the recap and I have missed it!