Starting Over Talk - Peer Coaching Support Site

Tuesday, 9-28

Kim is sitting outside in prayer and song. Iyanla greets her, and says to the camera her day is going to get tough. Sinae is helping watch Chloe this morning.

Iyanla tells Kim to look in the mirror. Kim sees pretty eyes, face, and flashy clothes. She also sees ugly, angry, and sad. Iyanla wants her to take off her makeup. She says it took her an hour to put it on! I wonder if she was praying for an hour.... Kim has had botox, and she has a fear of growing older. Iyanla wants her to love herself just like she is. She asks Kim to bring down all her makeup and jewelry. And her fancy bag, she says no! in the background. She says what's the point. Iyanla says to trust the process. She also has to wear different clothes. Didn't we all see this coming? Why didn't Kim? Can you say denial?

Kim is mad, and Iyanla says she needs to simplify the outside, and learn to be okay with her feelings. Kim says she breaks things, she doesn't hurt others, just herself, because she deserves it. Iyanla says no one deserves to be hit, abused, or hurt. She says something about the other end of the tunnel.

Iyanla keeps pushing Kim, and hands her a plate. She does not want to break it because she does not want to pick it up. Sinae agrees to clean it. (Boy, did the spoilers take this whole scene out of context!) She breaks one plate, and leaves.
Sinae cleans it up, and gives one piece of the plate to Kim that says "trust the process" on it.

Sommer and Stan meet. She says she doesn't feel accepted, and knows she can't control every situation, but would like to.

In the kitchen, Josie, Towanda, and Kim are bashing Sommer again. Kim said that Sommer laughed at her when she was giving up her makeup. I agree, that was insensitive.

Jennifer finished her tapes to her mother, father, and sister. She rushed through it, and it shows. Iyanla gets her to say what is really on her mind. She said she sacrifices for her mom, and she has put her own life on hold. She says I'm a kid, I'm not the adult. Well, she is 22, she is an adult, her mom's kid, but still an adult. Jennifer wants her mom to know she loves her, even though her mom can't do the things she wants to do for her, because of her MS. She tells her mom she is practicing radical self care. She mails the tapes to her family, and feels relief. Iyanla says Jenn is getting in touch with things, and has found her voice.

Kim is redressed in slacks and a grey shirt, sans makeup. (For you, hugs). She doesn't look that bad, really. She is to spend some time at a Senior Citizen Day Care program. The first thing she does is apolgize for the way she is dressed! This is not part of the exercise. (Like the Pharisees who dressed in sackcloth and ashes when they fasted, they wanted all to know). The director says she will get talking with the folks, and will find that is not important. She meets two ladies, Emma, and her best friend, Walcie. She really seemed to hava a good time there.

Rhonda meets with the women, and the topic is weight. Towanda says she is the heaviest now that she has ever been. Jennifer says if someone is fat, they should just stop eating and go to the gym. (Typical skinny girl response!) Sommer said that it cost $25,000 for gastric bypass surgery. Josie said she could buy a house with that! Kim feels like a football player, not a girl at all. Rhonda says to the camera that the girls are rejecting Sommer because of her surgery, but she feels the real reason is the fact that she represents the other woman. Summer sees that, and gets it completely.

A guest comes to the house, a belly dancing instructor. Josie and Sinae aren't so sure. Towanda is so happy!! She says she always wanted to learn this, and when men watch this dance, they seem to be in a trance. Kim puts on makeup(where did that come from? Come on, you didn't really believe she would give it all away, did you?) and flashy pajamas. They all get a veil, and are shimmying all over the place.

Later, Sinae tells Kim she sees where this exercise is going, and she thinks it will get worse for Kim. Will she feed the homeless at a shelter, will she have to sleep on the street? Okay, I'm done speculating.

Tomorrow, Towanda tells off Iyanla, Josie has a ceremony for Chloe, and names the women all surrogate mothers to Chloe, and Sommer says she made the wrong choice.(DUH!)

Kim is redressed in slacks and a grey shirt, sans makeup.
(For you, hugs).
DUH please explain hs
for me know I may sound funny on board but can you see how I am for real NOT upset just ? the meaning of your post too me

HUGS

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thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you

curly

HUGS, not meaning anything in that post!!

just the use of the french word sans for without!!



lov ya!

Wed, 9-29

Stan is talking with Josie in the morning, agreeing that maybe Chloe is spoiled, and has distanced herself from Josie because of all the moms in the house. He asks Kim how it is going without makeup. He reminds her that one of her goals is to develop healthy relationships with women. He says when she portrays herself as so perfect, many women push her away, because she is not willing to share her real feelings with anyone.

Iyanla is helping Towanda deal with issues. She wants to confront Iyanla about how she feels she treats her. She has her cut-out from the other day's activity. Towanda took an Emneagram personality test, and will meet with a consultant to discuss the results. It is supposed to explain her inner workings, and how to deal with them.

Rhonda takes Josie to a playland and she is to ask other parents their parenting tips. She identifies ten tips, and will have a ceremony tonight at the house for Chloe.

Stan tells Kim that she shows her sadness to all, no matter how she dresses or looks. (I missed the fact she is divorced, does she work for her money, or is it all alimony?)

Towanda meets with the consultant, who tells her she is a 3, an Achiever. She fits her moods and words to please others, without showing her true feelings. His advice is to let go of the anger, honor her true feelings. She really plans to tell Iyanla she is mean and rude to her.

Iyanla is meeting with the women, and the issue is control. She wants to know how the women deal with issues of control. Josie gets snappy, Kim flips out, Towanda shuts down, Sommer is a salesmen, she manipulates the situation to her way. Jennifer doesn't want to hurt feelings. Iyanla wants the women to trust each other enough to tell the truth. If you know someone will break a plate, for example, if you tell them the truth, you won't say what is on your mind. That person who breaks plates is controlling what is said to her. (Isn't that good?)

Josie tells Stan that she will never date again. Stan says there are men out there, and her destiny is not to be alone if she doesn't want to be, it is her option. The happier she is, the happier Chloe will be.

Iyanla says your mind works hard to hold on to limitations. Towanda replaces some negative words with some positive ones. She tells Iyanla she feels she has been mean and rude to her. She doesn't feel true empathy or sincerity from Iyanla. Iyanla parrots her, and turns it around to say that Towanda wants to control everything, including Iyanla's feelings. You are right, I2teach, it was a breakthrough for Towanda. They promised to be totally honest to each other, and they can move forward from here. Towanda will say what's on her mind, and not worry how the others take it, that is their responsibility, not hers. (But I hope they tell the truth in love, and not to be hurtful or in spite, you know what I mean??)

Josie has a ceremony for Chloe. Lots of balloons (liked them, 2?) and candles. She says that the women are all surrogate mothers for Chloe, and it is very special. She lets go of the balloons, and says it's short and sweet. Not too formal, but neither is Josie. You guessed it, Kim put on the flashy pj's again

The next morning, the ladies are in group with Rhonda. She asks how they all feel about Sommer's confession about her affair. The ladies are honest, and see her as the symbolic other woman. Sommer says it torments her that she had other options, and made the wrong choice. Rhonda gives her the scarlet letter A for adulteress, and puts i on her chest. Sommer is crying.

The next show has Sommer sharing her pain, Towanda in a recording studio, and Sinae getting on a city bus and saying she is frustrated that she can't see.

YOU ARE THE BEST HSMOM!!!!!!

thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
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curly