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Time off work (1 viewing) (1) Guests
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TOPIC: Time off work
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Time off work 2 Years, 8 Months ago
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Time off work
Two men working in a facory were talking. "I know how to get some time off," said one.
"How are you going to do that?"
"Watch," he said, and climbed up on a rafter. The foreman asked what he was doing up there, and the man replied."I'm a lightbulb."
"I think you need some time off," the foreman said said, and the first man walked out of the factory. After a moment, the second man followed him.
"Where do you think you're going?" the foreman shouted.
"I can't work in the dark," he said.
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Re:Time off work (Work Jokes) 2 Years, 8 Months ago
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Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after you boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is of a different gender than you.
Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. "That's a good point, Sparky." "No, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Cha-Cha."
Send email to the rest of the company telling them exactly what you're doing. For example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."
Highlight your shoes. Tell people you haven't lost them as much since you did this.
While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive liquid. Call everyone Marge.
Hang mosquito netting around your cubicle. When you emerge to get coffee or a printout or whatever, slap yourself randomly the whole way.
Put a chair facing a printer. Sit there all day and tell people you're waiting for your document.
Every time someone asks you to do something, anything, ask them if they want fries with that.
Send email back and forth to yourself engaging yourself in an intellectual debate. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask her to settle the disagreement.
Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair-dancing.
Put your trash can on your desk. Label it "IN."
Send email messages saying there's free pizza or donuts or cake in the lunchroom. When people drift back to work complaining that they found none, lean back, pat your stomach and say, "oh you've got to be faster than that.
Put decaf in the coffeemaker for three weeks. Once everyone has withdrawn from caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.
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harmony (User)
Platinum Boarder
Posts: 515
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Re:Time off work (Work Jokes) 2 Years, 8 Months ago
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heh i paged myself on accident when i worked at a grocery store  funny. |
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harmony (User)
Platinum Boarder
Posts: 515
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Re:Time off work (Work Jokes) 2 Years, 8 Months ago
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OHHH and i do make up nicknames for people...so i remember them, but i have to really concentrate NOT to call them their "nickname"
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Re:Time off work (Work Jokes) 2 Years, 8 Months ago
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Funny Office Pranks
Run one lap around the office at top speed
Groan out loud in the bathroom cubicle (at least one other 'no-p_layer_'must be in the bathroom at the time)
Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you
Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye"
To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way"
Walk sideways to the photocopier.
While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.
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Re:Time off work (Work Jokes) 2 Years, 7 Months ago
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We make up names for each other at work...but they know what their name is. They understand how we are so they look over it as a mental condition  |
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