Starting Over Talk - Peer Coaching Support Site

Tara wrote:

QUOTE:
LaurenB wrote:

QUOTE:
I see no reason for people to get so angry and defensive when discussing this book and the topic of wieght in the US and what we can do about it. The fact is that what we eat...contributes directly to our over all health. I have not read one personal attack towards anyone in this thread, but some are choosing it to voice their disdain that any would choose to even discuss this topic at all.

Yes, I guess you would see it that way...lol

I have not been here for awhile and thought I would check it out again. And this is so disappointing as an example of why I have not been here for so long. On no other site I visit has it been so clear who is and is not accepted by administrators and who is and is not exempt from the rules. And now I suppose I will be one of the un-liked as well. I did not interpret the posts about weight issues to suggest that everybody chooses to be overweight but obviously it's a point of view that choices do play some role. We all have our own genetics, health issues, lifestyles, levels of control - all kinds of factors that make weight an individual issue and blame did not seem like the point. Educating others about weight issues requires some patience as they may not have had the same struggles or obstacles.

I expect that I will now disappear as others did when they let it be known that they were troubled by selective application of the rules of this site or disagreed with what onwers or favored guests think.

Doxygirl,

I'm sorry you feel that way. But as you mention in another thread... Laurenb has a tendency to word thing VERY strongly.. Be it a comment about Rhonda, Cassie, people in general...

I think several of us have been frustrated by the poster. Lauren is more than welcome to stay here... I have no clue why she was ever here... She always seemed locked in her anger regarding Cassie and Rhonda and no matter what thread came up challenged someone on them.. recently she even made a comment that if anyone thought SO had helped anyone... that they were wrong.. (I paraphrased)..

Lauren herself is very guilty of twisting things...and has had a history of creating some disturbances in the chat room.

I knew exactly where Tara was coming from.. since Lauren only sees things Lauren's way. Coupled with comments here in this thread and another thread about 300 lb. models.. yes, those of us with weight problems.. could take personally, some of her pronouncements with offense. I'm sure she just generalized..

But diplomacy hasn't been her strong suit... and she pretty much annoyed me recently by calling the women here uncaring because we didn't want to get in political debates.. It was a challenge that I rose up to...and she without hesitation browbeat me as much as possible.. Her M.O.... I shouldn't have been surprised.

I think many of us have gotten tired of it.

She's welcome to stay, I just won't be pulled into her bashing parties. I apologize if I don't mesh up with her own agenda. I tried to suggest that if she wanted to talk politics, that there were probably dozens of forums for just that purpose..

Frankly, she was frequently so negative, that I wondered why she was here. Since it was obvious, she didn't like the show.. and seemed to have a vendetta, re:Cassie and Rhonda..

I would like to say something here.

KPW, this is not a personal attack on you and it's not only about you I've seen it else where in another thread by other members past and present. Don't get me wrong I think you’re a very nice lady.

From what I see posted here about a member/past member is wrong. What is the difference now on what Lauren said and done is any different from what I see here doesn’t make it right.

Everyone’s point of views should be welcomed, any bashing by a member about a member should not be called for.

If anything needed to be said to a member then it should have been written to her in private.

If Tara has any issues with regards to a member here... it's her problem and not anyone elses. you / me may have the same thoughts but it's not right to post it all over here or is there a choosen few allowed to say whatever they want and it's alright cuz if that's the case then I'll be on my way. ( it's not a threat, I don't think it's right!) I've seen this kinda thing happen many times here and it's getting OLD.

My opinion if someone has something to say choose your words and your words only there should be no bringing other parties into your post.

What seems to be the problem here? Why can't we say how what we feel about a topic, thing, celeb, etc... seems to me that we would rather disrespect one of our very own members and that's ok.. seems to me there's a problem here.


I HATE THE COLOR YELLOW. SO WHAT! YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO DISAGREE OR AGREE.

We are all mature ladies here ( I would like to think so) we should act like it.

P.S. The topic was French Women Don't Get Fat is it so hard for us girls to stay on topic ??<br><br>Post edited by: Nadia, at: 2006/11/05 12:40

This is just a not on my thoughts on the whole subject.

I have sat back and watched how people react to other people's weight. I've been ultra thin and the only skinny one in a family of obese people. Because of what I’ve been through… I don’t assume that unhealthy diets or laziness got them their weight problem. It’s like assuming a person that looks “Fit” actually was born that way and not work their tail off.

When I was very skinny I was accused of having an eating disorder, and when that was disproven... people would suggest I get checked for worms. STRESS is what caused me to be unable to gain weight (just as much as it can cause others to be overweight). I'd often say I'm too skinny to be anorexic... while people insisted that is why I need to go to a clinic (talk about not listening).. I heard the whispers of people &quot;KNOWING&quot; I was going to throw up while I ate a healthy meal. They just knew I was responsible for not gaining weight. I've been preached to, called toothpick, bean pole, walking stick to my face, I had doctors put on a 4 &quot;balanced&quot; meals a day with Ensure drinks between (just to lose 2 lbs)... It took becoming happier with myself and finding a good support system that I started to gain weight.

With my family's obesities... My mother had medical problems-strokes, early arthritis to the point her hips and spine fused, a couple of relatives were on medications that causes severe weight gain, and yes there were some that rather stuff their faces than move a finger with exercise. One had double knee surgery and ended up in bed for several months leading up the surgery and recovering... naturally she gained weight.

There are a lot of instant judgments on both the &quot;too thin&quot; and &quot;too fat&quot;. We hear them, we see the look on other’s faces. I’m not surprised at the defensiveness on this subject. I don’t think it’s fair when people automatically feel it’s their duty to point out to those with weight problem- that they should eat more healthy- as if they themselves are expert to why each individual’s weight problem and just know the person is over eating unhealthy food or not eating enough.

So please when you see someone that is obviously too thin or too fat… remember this is a human with feelings… Don’t assume it’s because they have a choice or that they are unhealthy. I know a 250 lb gal that can out run, out last her teammates on a baseball team. She eats healthy… she is healthy. Genetics just didn’t hand her the “Ideal” shape card.

The weight issue is not as black in white as some people would like to believe it is. There are soooo many factors as to why people are obese/over weight.

I never said I have nothing to do with my weight issue. Nor have I said I am not choosing to anything about my weight.

As for me preventing people from getting help now that is just crazy. I think people reading these posts are quite intelligent and can make choices themselves.

Nadia wrote:

QUOTE:
I would like to say something here.

KPW, this is not a personal attack on you and it's not only about you I've seen it else where in another thread by other members past and present. Don't get me wrong I think you’re a very nice lady.

From what I see posted here about a member/past member is wrong. What is the difference now on what Lauren said and done is any different from what I see here doesn’t make it right.

Everyone’s point of views should be welcomed, any bashing by a member about a member should not be called for.

If anything needed to be said to a member then it should have been written to her in private.

If Tara has any issues with regards to a member here... it's her problem and not anyone elses. you / me may have the same thoughts but it's not right to post it all over here or is there a choosen few allowed to say whatever they want and it's alright cuz if that's the case then I'll be on my way. ( it's not a threat, I don't think it's right!) I've seen this kinda thing happen many times here and it's getting OLD.

My opinion if someone has something to say choose your words and your words only there should be no bringing other parties into your post.

What seems to be the problem here? Why can't we say how what we feel about a topic, thing, celeb, etc... seems to me that we would rather disrespect one of our very own members and that's ok.. seems to me there's a problem here.


I HATE THE COLOR YELLOW. SO WHAT! YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO DISAGREE OR AGREE.

We are all mature ladies here ( I would like to think so) we should act like it.

P.S. The topic was French Women Don't Get Fat is it so hard for us girls to stay on topic ??&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Post edited by: Nadia, at: 2006/11/05 12:40

Nadia,

You make some good points. It would be great if everyone worked at getting along.. and accepting our differences rather than having to defend them.

I am sure it is a natural reaction by everyone at times, Lauren and myself included. It would be my hope that we all can make an effort to get along and if not, just avoid the conflicts as much is as humanly possible. I know sometimes that threshold gets pressed though..

For myself.. I have reacted from a point of frustration.
My apologies to the community for reacting to it.. and any offense that may have been felt because of my post.

My apologies as well to Lauren. I wish her well, whether or not she decides to stay.

Now to get back on topic... I haven't read the book... but I do like it's premise.