Starting Over Talk - Peer Coaching Support Site

Symbiosis is a good way to describe it. It's a way to explain Allison's point keeping. Those that do for others and 'expect' in return. You see examples of this when she 'expects' full attention from the others for anything she does, feeling like since she cleans and listens to other's problems that she expects the same and then some in return. They all are there to listen to each other, not on a point system for which one is 'owed' a certain amount of adoring or reward and when she doesn't get what she feels she deserves, such as the limelight in every aspect of her life, then she throws the tantrums. There are so many with this type personality. The thing they may not realize is, if they did things out of the pure goodness of their hearts without expectations then they wouldn't feel they had to go into the drama for attention so much because they would not have such expectations and more of their needs would get met as in a give and take. When a person does things for others for the right reasons, those persons are generally happy in what they do because it makes them feel good because they aren't keeping tabs. Their personalities shine through in and of itself. When I see Allison whine and throw tantrums because she is attention starved it takes away from her as being just a kind hearted person that cares because she shows she feels she deserves the utmost attention and care (moreso than average) and does whatever necessary in order to achieve it, even to her own detriment as in waving around the booze. When she turns it on and off like a switch I tend to shake my head and wonder just how far she can go in the 'acting' and how much of it is her needing really intense psychiatric help for such a low self esteem. Sad when a person goes through such extremes for attention and even sadder when the lines are blurred between real need and 'acting' for the spot light.

Mystique, I got all excited when I saw your name on the post!!
It's always a pleasure.

TGIF!!!

Debby wrote:

QUOTE:
Mystique, I got all excited when I saw your name on the post!!
It's always a pleasure.

TGIF!!!

Hey Debby!!!! You're such a sweetheart Yea, I've been a busy bee lately and don't know whether I'm coming or going half the time lol Great to see you too!! Pleasure is all mine! (I'll write you soon and catch up!)

and.. DITTO ON THE TGIF!!!!!!! woohooo!

Mystique wrote:

QUOTE:
Symbiosis is a good way to describe it. It's a way to explain Allison's point keeping. Those that do for others and 'expect' in return. You see examples of this when she 'expects' full attention from the others for anything she does, feeling like since she cleans and listens to other's problems that she expects the same and then some in return. They all are there to listen to each other, not on a point system for which one is 'owed' a certain amount of adoring or reward and when she doesn't get what she feels she deserves, such as the limelight in every aspect of her life, then she throws the tantrums. There are so many with this type personality. The thing they may not realize is, if they did things out of the pure goodness of their hearts without expectations then they wouldn't feel they had to go into the drama for attention so much because they would not have such expectations and more of their needs would get met as in a give and take. When a person does things for others for the right reasons, those persons are generally happy in what they do because it makes them feel good because they aren't keeping tabs. Their personalities shine through in and of itself. When I see Allison whine and throw tantrums because she is attention starved it takes away from her as being just a kind hearted person that cares because she shows she feels she deserves the utmost attention and care (moreso than average) and does whatever necessary in order to achieve it, even to her own detriment as in waving around the booze. When she turns it on and off like a switch I tend to shake my head and wonder just how far she can go in the 'acting' and how much of it is her needing really intense psychiatric help for such a low self esteem. Sad when a person goes through such extremes for attention and even sadder when the lines are blurred between real need and 'acting' for the spot light.

You're so right about Allison turning "it on and off like a switch" It think it's more that than "grace" that kept her from crying in front of the hurricane victims. She wasn't trying to manipulate them. Like she successfully manipulated Dr Stan, with her fake hyperventilating, into postponing her graduation for another two weeks. And, with her "what, I don't get another makeover and shopping spree?" pity party, finagled a new graduation outfit out of Iyanla.

KPW1956 wrote:

QUOTE:
I think Lisa is just sucking up to Allison. Allison is doing the bulk of Lisa's share of cleaning AND making her bed.

Your post just caused me to connect one thing that always irked me about Lisa's behavior. Now that some have seen some sort of connection of Lisa's behavior and Allison's people pleasing tendencies. I just realized an upcoming episode might really reveal Lisa's true colors and possibly confirmation that her allegiance to Allison is self serving only.

for those seeing the shows the first time... don't read any further..

For those seeing the show again.. I want to throw out there the incident when Allison does finally graduate... and the hg's are putting a mexican dinner together for her. Apparently she loves mexican food (and I don't know too many people who don't!) Lisa happened to be talking to her mom on the phone while the others were having dinner..and making a snide comment about mexican food.. and then sniping at her mother when her mother tried to encourage her to go be a part of it... I was irritated because of the way she treated her mother and the fact that she didn't seem to want to be a part of a nice evening together to celebrate.. (Hey Lisa.. it's wasn't about the food.) Maybe she was sulking or upset that Ally was leaving and possibly anxious about having to get another roommate. Who I am sure would not be coming to SO to make her (Lisa's) bed or clean up after her! Either way, she didn't show alot of support for her good friend that evening. She didn't have to eat the food.. Maybe she was taking Allison's leaving harder than she was letting on and her poor attitude and behavior was how it was manifested.
Either that or she just didn't give a darn.

Maybe Lisa was just pissed off that she was losing her personal maid. She could've showed Allison some support by attending the dinner, though. Even if she didn't partake. I'm sure Jill didn't, either. Wasn't supposed to, at any rate, as Mexican food probably wasn't on her diet. And, didn't Jill support Lisa by attending her chocalate fondue party?