Starting Over Talk - Peer Coaching Support Site

I could feel for Cassie because I am a birth mother too. However, I never felt I deserved to meet my son after he reahed 18 or so. In Indiana a mother can sign a release "allowing" her information to be given to the adopted child and vice-versa the child does also, if the adoption was placed through a state agency, which mine was.

I knew from the time I gave my son up that I had NO RIGHTS to him at all. I didn't make the decision because I didn't want him but because in my situation I was doing what I determined was best for him. I truely believe that Cassie was doing the same. Why she felt she was a bad person I don't know. I did not feel bad about what I chose to do, only heart sick that I had to do this.

Several years ago my son and his wife decided they wanted to meet me. I was notified by the state of Indiana (as well as him) and we met. He has grown into a handsome wonderful young man with a lovely wife and now they have a beautiful little girl. His parents were wonderful people that provided him with a safe home and lots of love. I knew I had done my best for him.

One of the 1st things I told him was I never want to come between your Mother and Father and you. They are your parents and I'm your birth Mother.

I do pray that Cassie will have contact with her son and they can build on a relationship. If not she needs to rest in the realization that she did her best for him.

Being an adopted child I think adoption is a wonderful option. I knew when i had my kids that I couldn't give them up but my sister did give up one of her kids. Her daughter is doing wonderfully in the adoptive home. I think Cassie had one understanding and never had it made clear to her. I do wish her peace and hope that her son will come around you never know stranger things have happened.I am not even allowed to know my birth parents medical records without getting a court order to open them. It is crazy at times becuase of my daughter.
I am very happy for you Sue that you got to meet your son.

PS I am one of 14 adopted kids that my parents adopted. Some were closed adoptions and others were open and the Open ones are very hard to deal with at times.