Starting Over Talk - Peer Coaching Support Site

Glad to have you as the newest guest in the house.
It's been a tough start
Trust the process,and we have faith that you'll leave with great accomplishments and a better feel of who you are.
I like you.We all would do things different if we had the chance.And I applaud you for your strengh and bravery of putting yourself out there so we all can learn.

2cents

While some of the HGs reactions are understandable, overall, I think most of the HGs were not open to her enough.

I think initially the HGs did a really good job welcoming her into the hosue, especially given their experience with Deborah. Things were going pretty ok there with making her feel welcome to the hosue. Then that all seemed to change the moment she opened up in group and admitted to being the woman a man had cheated on with.

From that moment it was like most of the HGs really turned their backs on her. They talked so much behind her back and they seemed to contiously or uncontiously close thmeselves up to really developing a positive relationship with her.

This is understandable to an extent. All of the women up to that point had issues with men cheating on them or their fathers cheating on their mothers. That is traumatic for them and everything and I know to some she represents the enemy woman in their lives. I just think that their closed mindedness really make Sommer feel unwelcome and unconfortable when that is not something I think was acceptable for her HGs to end up making her feel like.

I do give Kim a lot of credit for the way she handled Sommer from the start. In some ways she had the most to worry about when Sommer first came but she ended up being the only one who made any kind of effort not to judge her and really reach out to her and without paying her anything in the process. This really shows a great sense of maturity and personal growth on Kim's part.

I also think that when Sommer started sensing that others were uncomfortable with her, Sommer then starteed lashing back in a way with inappropriate and hurtfull comments toward the other HGs. I wish Sommer had a more welcoming experience into the house.

I couldn't of said it better if it were me saying this.
She was treated like she had a disease or something and
Towanda!!! If it is bothering her that much with Sommer, then tell her instead of acting fake not talking to her but talking behind her back with the other HG'sinstead.

She was not welcomed at all and judged to soon and yes, It would leave a very bad taste in my mouth too.
I mean, like what she said to Josie in the pool about her "cousins". You know Sommer didn't mean to say what she said and it just so happened Josie took it wrong and now she has this hurt attitude with Sommer.
I don't buy it. It seems like they all are looking for negative things about Sommer to NOT like her.
I bet Sommer is feeling really uncomfortable too in there.
<br><br>Post edited by: Lanie, at: 2005/06/10 22:16

I caught the re-run this week of sommer coming in to the house. I would have to agree that she was not welcomed well at all. I didn't remember how mean the women were to her. I agree with you lanie about the pool comment to Josie. There is no way she would have know that Josie was heavy in 8th grade. Kim and Towanda were very judgemental after she told her story. I don't think she was justified in having an affair, however, she was not the one that was married. She should be allowed to mourn the loss of someone she loved regardless of the circumstances. No one was supportive of her loss.