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Kelly opens the door to find a basket with a note in it.
These are the words you believe changed your life. Please decorate this scroll using pictures and words that represent how you feel about this phrase. Kelly unrolls the scroll and it says “YOU’RE TRYING TO SEDUCE YOUR FATHER.” She says she immediately feels shame, embarrassment.
Dr. Stan meets with Jill. They talk about trying to contact her birth father. Jill says she has not heard from him yet, it is venturing into the unknown. Dr. Stan asks if she is anxious, nervous, are you sure he got the package? She is not sure, so he suggests she track it. They then talk about her finding the right job, and he asks if she’s been fired from more than one job. She acknowledges she has been fired from three. After the last job she was afraid to look for one because she thought she was damaged goods. Dr. Stan has arranged for her to meet with Susan Scott, CEO of “Fierce Conversations” to learn how to have a fierce conversation with prospective employers. She also will meet with a Hollywood headhunter, Brad Marks, to do some consulting with him, so she needs to get her resume together and dress for success. Jill says this is scary but exciting.
Group session with Dr. Stan:
In continuing to talk about change, he wants them to think about their most significant change and how it impacted them. Christie says it would be her divorce, not being a wife anymore. Jodi says it was her parents’ divorce because it so defined the woman she is today, and if she was good or bad. Kim says it would be having her son. Before he came she was concentrating on her career. Kelly says it was kids. She begins to cry and says when she had her son she panicked, wondered how she would love him, how well would she do? She didn’t know how she would and it confirmed all her fears of being unlovable. Kelly then says, last night when I tried to talk to Kim, I said it’s okay to be bugged by your child. Trust me, you’ll get used to it. Even though I know it’s hard for you. Kim looks confused. Kim says she doesn’t feel that way, she doesn’t know what Kelly is talking about. Kim admits that she feels her son might not love her because she’s always doubted her self-worth. Kelly shakes her head and throws her hands up in the air and leans forward toward Kim. Kelly says in a confrontational tone, I’m in fear that my kids might not love me, it’s the same thing you’re saying, so what’s different? She accuses Kim of saying the opposite of their conversation last night. Everyone starts to talk and Dr. Stan stops everyone and says ladies, let’s all take a breath. Kelly is shaking her head in disgust about Kim. Jodi says I’m not a mom, but the comment that Kelly made, everyone gets frustrated, they just don’t admit it, is a blanket statement that I don’t think you can make for every mother.
Jill in confessional: I don’t really know what Kelly’s role in the house is yet, but it feels to me like Kelly and Jodi are kind of playing the same role, so there are storm clouds ahead!
Jodi says about Kelly, that’s a really powerful statement that I was thinking does she need to say that to be validated with her feelings? Dr. Stan senses that some of the ladies are having difficulty with Kelly talking about other people than herself, because she talked about her own significant change and then turned it to talking about Kim. He tells her, develop your relationship first, then offer your opinions as strictly your opinions. He then reads a note from the coaches to tell them they will again meet with Andy Paige.
Dr. Stan talks with Jodi. They talk about her wanting to lose weight and starting to exercise. Jodi says that in her stressful sales environment, she needed the outlet of exercising. In her latter 20’s she was very fit and healthy. Then at 30, she was dating two men casually, went to Paris, had a fling and when she came home she was pregnant. It changed her because she didn’t know who the father was. She terminated the pregnancy and the weight came back on, she thinks so she could shut men out of her life. She stopped dating completely. Dr Stan says, I want you to connect up exercise with physical and emotional health, not connected to men or weight. She will go to a women’s gym and be assigned a personal trainer. She will get details later.
Kelly says she feels sorry for herself as she writes on her scroll.
Jill talks to TJ. She asks, have you talked to Lisa? TJ says no, and Jill says Lisa has not called anyone. Lisa #2 has called her, Kim has called her, she won’t call back. Jill says she only has 30 days to get things together; she has even emailed her, and gotten no answer. TJ says it makes you feel like, well why even bother?
Jodi goes to Curves (a women’s gym) and meets with Jenny, a personal trainer. She has her work hard on several machines, and Jodi says she is reminded of how wonderful it feels when you’re being physically active. She is going to meet with her at least 3 times a week.
Kim, Jill and Lisa talk about their concerns in not being able to reach Lisa #1. Jill says something about even her mother not reaching her. They wonder if they should tell Rhonda, ask if she has talked to her because she’s supposed to talk to Rhonda each day.
The women are getting into the van. Kelly is getting behind the wheel, and Jodi says to the camera that she is a little out of her comfort zone because Kelly is an aggressive driver. Everything’s going great, but she has a problem with Kelly’s constant turning around while she’s driving on the highway. They go to a shop called “It’s a Wrap” and meet Andy who tells them they can find the wardrobe of your favorite TV stars. Lisa gets a purse with fringe on it. She teaches them how to accessorize their wardrobe and coats with scarves, etc. She shows Christie how putting a jacket over her regular clothes dresses it up and that you don’t have to go overboard to modernize your wardrobe. Kelly asks Jodi if she wants to drive and she says no, she laughs good naturedly and says Kelly is doing good and she should finish what she started.
Kelly to confessional: Jodi is controlling, she’s in my business, never can be quiet, she’s always on me. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t trust my driving. She doesn’t trust anything about me.
Dr. Stan meets with Kelly. Kelly says she can’t stop crying. Dr. Stan says she is experiencing friction with some of her housemates right now and asks why she is here. She says she has trouble getting close to people physically and that they have the same trouble with her. She tells him she went to a therapist at age 13 and was told she was seducing her dad. Dr. Stan comments that she probably was conflicted about her mother, after all she was going into a psychiatric hospital, and this one statement on this one day at this one point in time changed her life. Kelly says she has no intimacy problem with her husband, she equates intimacy with sex. She does have problems with women, she feels weak and needy of needing their support. She is afraid people think she is weird with her sons, so she shouldn’t get too close to them; she barely let them sit next to her on the couch. She felt people would think she was seducing them. They look at her scroll, which Kelly has covered with derogatory words about herself. Dr. Stan tells her that seducing doesn’t necessarily have to do with sex and that it is sad she bought into this 28 years ago and she let this one statement rule her life.
Jill meets with Susan Scott, CEO of Fierce Conversations. She is there to prepare Jill for meeting with Brad Marks. She wants to know about Jill’s background and her concerns. Jill tells her she has been fired from 3 jobs. Susan asks why, what is the theme there? Jill says the theme is defiance and bumping heads with authorities. Since then, she retreated into a shell and felt she was damaged goods. She cries and says she took a little retail job working in the back of a store, and she was miserable. Susan says it would be very tempting when you meet with a headhunter to project an image that you imagine he desires of you, but on the other hand there is something within us that connects and responds to those that level with us. I want him to want to place you, so we have to acknowledge that you recognize you’ve had some powerful insights along the way. I’m good at what I do, but what bit me in the backside was I did not pay enough attention to the relationships that were crucial to my success. And when you describe where you’ve been, do not lay blame, even though you have every right to in some instances.
The doorbell rings and Jodi gets a note that in keeping with today’s day of health, a Sushi chef will come to the house at 8:30 to give Jodi and her housemates a lesson on preparing sushi. Jodi is excited.
Jill is getting ready to meet with Brad Marks (head hunter). She researches him on the web and says he is a big deal and she is nervous, but she needs the guidance. Jodi tells her to remember that he works for you. Jill goes to his office and they talk about her hosting a morning radio show and how much she loved it. Jill is sipping from a mug with the NBC logo on it. Her dream is to do a TV/radio show. He asks what she’s been doing in the meantime and she said she had a boutique. Brad says she needs to prepare a demo and to try opportunities in smaller markets. Jill is excited about that. She also would like to explore satellite radio, which her friend is doing. He tells her to get her head together with her friend and put together a marketing plan to get her to the big guys. Jill says she is relieved she can go back into the workforce without feeling she has been branded because of being fired. Brad believes she can get there again because everything she had before she still has.
Christie and Kelly talk. Kelly thinks Jodi is so upset with her all the time, but Jodi says she is not. Christie says to the camera that Kelly is harsh, outspoken, and she’s not sure how she’ll fit in.
Christie and Jodi are at the pool talking. Jodi says, Definitely I had some snappy moments in the car, I mean I like to be in control and drive. She told Kelly, I’m really sorry if I was obnoxious. Kelly said, Everything I do is not enough for you. I said Kelly, what are you talking about? Kelly said, Everything I’ve done since I’ve come into this house is just not enough. Jodi said, Well, I’m sorry you feel that way. I was a little leery of driving with you is all, and then Kelly snapped back, well I was leery of driving with you the other day. Christie feels she is trying to fit into the house but kind of aggressive. Jodi said she’s been waiting for the other Kelly to come out and thinks there are two Kellys, and she saw the other one today.
Rhonda’s Life Coach Tip of the Week:
Revel in your individuality, and be a pioneer in your own life. The more you’re willing to fully express yourself, the more others around you have permission to do the same. Don’t be afraid…be fearless.
Nikki Gilbert, sushi chef, arrives to prepare sushi for the houseguests, in keeping with Jodi’s commitment to living a healthy life. She tells them to take strips of seaweed, rough side up, then they press rice onto it, slice cucumbers across. They fold rice to rice and tuck the cucumbers under, then cut it in half, then into 6 pieces and they make cucumber rolls. All the women then try their hands at making them. They all seem to enjoy it and Jodi said it was lots of fun.
We hear Jill calling Lisa, whose voicemail answers with a giggle, “Hi, this is Lisa, please leave a message.” Jill says, I have been trying to reach you for four days, accountability partner, and you’ve not returned my phone calls. I just want to make sure that you’re okay, and you’re safe, so listen, if you can’t reach me by phone, just send me an email that you’re okay and everything’s fine. Hope to hear from you. Don’t make me have to send my private eye to find your ass. To the camera, she says, This is like so not a good sign, did she just like on the plane ride home say, you know what? Screw it. Cause she wasted a lot people’s time if that’s what she’s doing. Jill continues with her message, So just send me an email, Lisa…and we hear a recorded voice cut her off and say “memory full.” Jill hangs up in frustration and says, “Dammit, man!”
Jodi and Kelly are having a heated conversation. Jodi says, I really don’t get your comment (Kelly: Really?) about your blanket statement, you’ve been like this to me from the beginning. Kelly: Well, I feel like that. Your attitude with me today, in my opinion, was that I was stupid. Jodi: Well, I clearly apologize if that’s the way you felt because that’s not the way I wanted to make you feel. Kelly: It’s like I try to accommodate you. Like for instance, today you let me drive. Jodi: I didn’t let you drive, I just got in the back seat. Kelly: Okay, I asked you how you were feeling and what was your comment to me? Jodi: I have no idea. Kelly: Better finish what you start!
Kelly in confessional: Jodi and I seem to have a hard time communicating. She has an attitude like, how stupid are you?
Jodi in confessional: Kelly’s aggressive in a threatening way. I just think there’s a whole other Kelly we haven’t seen yet.
Next on Starting Over:
Jill’s career gets a makeover. We see her with Ilanya and she says, She set it up for me to go to a demo in an hour. For the love of Christmas woman, I need more time than that!
Lisa faces her biggest challenge. We see her dropping buckets behind her as Ilanya tells her to let it go. She then cries.
Christie and Rhonda meet and Christie can’t control her anger. She says, I’m so pissed off right now, I’m just so angry.
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During the 2nd half that I did watch, I was really impressed by the "Fierce Conversations" CEO Susan Scott. I'm a career counsellor and I'm always looking for ways to support my clients who have challenging employment histories to market themselves more effectively, and I thought Susan's advice to Jill was relevant and very helpful.
