Starting Over Talk - Peer Coaching Support Site

Marcus arrives to meet with Jill for their last session to talk about her new low stress routine. It can be easy to lose weight and stick to her goals. Jill says it’s been great working with him and she thinks she will achieve her goals because of it.

TJ is missing Jessica. She’s concerned she may not connect with the new roommate.

Allison answers the door and there’s a note from Rhonda for TJ instructing her to organize the houseguests into completing certain tasks in prep for the new roommate’s arrival. Allison can only observe and comment however. She thinks that’s torture. They begin to clean. Allison is not enjoying the restrictions on her duties. TJ says she enjoys deep cleaning like the grout on the countertop because she micro focuses. She imagines by day’s end, she could be frenzied.

TJ and Christina are talking about how they could welcome the new housemate with a “family dinner”.

Rhonda leads group and all the ladies arrive except TJ who’s finalizing little cleaning details. She says she’s late because she didn’t take her meds yesterday and is anxious. So Rhonda wants to discuss anxiety and how they’re all feeling about Jessica leaving and the impending arrival of a new woman. They all have anxiety about the new arrival. Rhonda explains that anxiety for most of us is a product of something we’re not facing. How do they deal with anxiety? Ally says eating, drinking, shopping, etc. Christina wanders around looking for stuff to do. She feels lost and confused. TJ smokes. Allison says if she doesn’t stop her anxiety, it will kill her. Rhonda says the anxiety is not trying to kill her, but to get her attention. TJ wants to know when the new girl is arriving. Rhonda won’t tell. This will test their anxieties.

Allison decides to cook some pasta and Jill begins her meal too. Rhonda finds TJ having a cigarette. TJ says she deals with anxiety by creating more anxiety and smoking. She has to change this or her time in the house will have been for nothing. Rhonda announces that TJ will be working with three babies today. One baby excites her; three scares her.

Christina is on the computer and explains that when she took the pictures, she had no idea that she had any right to them and could get them removed. She discovers that one of her pictures has been removed which leaves only seven more.

Iyanla is meeting with Allison who has her bags packed because she’s on graduation watch. She jokes that she’s ready because she didn’t pack any fall clothes. Iyanla wants to know what makes her think she’s ready now as opposed to when she was hyperventilating a few days earlier. Allison has a plan. Iyanla wants to address her finances though. Iyanla suspects that spending is one way that Allison deals with anxiety. She has eight credit cards and they’re almost all maxed out. Iyanla tells us that initially, Allison led her to believe that her debt was mostly due to her medical issues, but she’s now seeing that it has more to do with uncontrolled spending. She instructs her to fetch everything she’s brought since she’s been in the Starting Over house. She suspects Allison has a problem with emotional spending. Man…has she been there a year?!?! What a load of stuff! She shares she needs validation, so if she buys a blouse, it makes her feel thinner, prettier, etc. She tries to fill herself up to make herself feel better. Iyanla says there’s healthy retail therapy and then there’s what Allison does. She’s going to meet with a bankruptcy attorney today. She needs to know her options. Iyanla assures her that she “gets it” but she hasn’t practiced it enough yet. When she needs it, it will rise to the surface.

Christina excitedly shares with Iyanla and Allison that she got the first picture off the internet.

Allison is embarrassed to have to share with a bankruptcy lawyer her pattern of spending. She tells Lisa it will be interesting. Lisa is going to play some tennis to deal with her anxiety about the newcomer.

TJ takes Christina with her as her support buddy today. They hit the road to Santa Monica Blvd. Christina refreshes TJ about her attempt to get all the pics off the net.

Allison shares with Jill how she had to take everything she’s bought. Jill’s a little worried because she has financial issues as well. Iyanla has set up a table to “look into the future”. She will have to use her imagination to see everything that is available to her once she can see the possibility. There’s a crystal ball so there’s a place to focus. Surrounding that is several sections like career, health, family, etc. Six months, she wants to consider finances and career. She envisions a syndicated radio show and a column. She’s making $75,000 a year. To make this happen, Iyanla turns to health…she’ll have her surgery in 6 – 8 months in Los Angeles. Iyanla doesn’t know if waiting so long is wise. Jill cries that she is scared.

A lady knocks on the door; it’s the lawyer to see Allison. Allison is feeling ashamed and guilty for having such financial trauma. How much does she owe? $40,000!!! She was charging non-essentials. Any guess on how long it will take to pay off? 20 years at the rate she’s going the lawyer tells her.

TJ and Christina arrive for a warm stone treatment. Rhonda wants her to learn that there are other ways of dealing with her anxiety. Self care is important she’s told. TJ shares that she wants to have children and she doesn’t want her anxiety to affect her parenting. She finishes and says it was awesome.

The lawyer tells Allison that Chapter 7 will provide her a second chance. It will wipe her debt, but stay on her record for ten years. It costs about $1274 to do this. Allison thinks it’s the option that makes the most sense.

Iyanla tells Jill she doesn’t know what she’s playing with. A doctor telling her she can wait is different. Jill is terrified that if she asks for what she wants, she might get it Iyanla tells us. She leaves Jill to consider what she wants.

Babies begin crying wildly and the ladies are not happy. TJ arrives to find three electronic babies on the sofa. Each is labeled with directions. She changes, feeds, dresses etc. with Christina’s help. The crying is causing a tremendous amount of anxiety for TJ. Christina, being a mother is not too sure that TJ is ready to watch over an infant. TJ leaves a pillow on the face of one baby lying on the sofa.

Iyanla returns to Jill and asks how she did. Jill says she’s moving to LA, getting temp work, losing weight, cleaning up her debt etc. Iyanla says she thinks Jill only believes 75% of it. Ask for what you want Iyanla instructs. Try something new maybe. Jill has big choices just ahead of her Iyanla tells us.

Back to TJ and the screaming babies. One is in the stroller, one is napping and one is burping. She understands that it’s possible to live without anxiety.

Lisa goes to the door where Iyanla has left a watermelon and announcement of a nutritionist coming to visit. Lisa answers the door to the nutritionist. She pulls out 5 pounds of fat. Jill says she’s lost 30 lbs since she’s been there. Negotiate calories the nutritionist says. Instead of avoiding the foods you love, find a way to include it. She’s brought a few frozen entrees to show the girls how they can eat healthy and still enjoy it.

Lisa is joking with Christina and Allison about the new “wench”. She says she feels sorry for her because she doesn’t have any tools and they don’t know what a “whack job” she is and she’s walking into a situation that’s already established. It’s going to be hard for the new girl. They speculate about what she’ll be like.

The new girl is on her way, talking about how scared she is and how it’s all out of control. She’s always felt alone and can’t believe she’s here about to embark on this journey.

PREVIEWS

The new roommate arrives with an unbelievable story. Iyanla tells her she needs to get outraged about what she’s experienced or there is no way she’ll ever heal.
Lisa struggles to adjust to the new arrival. She’s seen on the phone saying that if she makes some inappropriate comment here and there, too bad!
Jill is stunned about her new assignment. She is inviting her mother to the house. Jill cries that when she talks to her she feels sixteen.
Lisa gets the shock of her life…looks like a game show; Lisa’s Dream Date.
Christina’s past catches up to her. Iyanla tells her “we have to do something about these” and passes her some papers. Christina says her “jaw is dropping”.

Thanks we had a power outtage and I missed it!

Netty, Thanks bunches... I was out and missed it and I really appreciate the recaps.

Thank you so much for the recaps. I was not able to watch the last couple of days last week............and boy was I going crazy