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The show opens up with Jessica talking about her process of making her project about her “mother as a woman”. She mentioned she used a plane on her presentation because she felt that it represented a big part of her mother’s life but also was a symbol of her death. She felt it was a positive experience but it was also a challenge because it brought back some difficult memories.
Everyone then meets for group. Today it is Lisa’s turn to share her story. They first start off showing a picture of her room in her apartment. Lisa then mentions that her parents bought her the apartment. Rhonda asks who pays the maintenance on the apartment; reluctantly Lisa responds that her parents take care of that. Not only do they take care of her maintenance but they give her money to live off of when they are away on vacation for four months. Lisa admits that she uses that money to pay her bills and live off of completely and only works when she wants to. She then states “They do give me money, but not as much as I think I am worth”. Lisa at one time was a flight attendant for one year, but every job she has had she has been fired from. Rhonda then asks what the reasoning behind her being fired is. Lisa says she starts off well but then gets tired of her job. Rhonda responds that she seems to have no regret for anything she is saying. Lisa says she feels bad about it in private but while discussing it now she has no feeling or emotion. A photo is shown of her parents on vacation, while on vacation Lisa states she is given $1000 a month by her parents to take care of everything while her parents are away. Rhonda then asks what is it that she does that she doesn’t get paid for. Lisa’s response is “I take care of my parents emotionally”. Unsure of what that meant Rhonda asks what does that entitle? Lisa gives an example about her getting a job interview and father responding “then who am I going to have breakfast with in the morning”. Rhonda made it clear that that issue was her father’s problem. Lisa baffled at this point becomes defensive. Iyanla asks about her relationships with men. Lisa says she has been called a tease various times. This is followed up by Rhonda asking how many times she has been engaged. Lisa says she’s been engaged 4 times and married once. She admits she married a man she knew for only 3 weeks. She rationalized that this was a plan to break away from her parents. During that 2 year marriage she was the one in charge, and she took care of her husband. She claims that not only did she not know the man she did not love the man either. Iyanla mentions that what she did is prostitution. Lisa fights back saying she did not get paid for that. Everything then becomes chaotic; Lisa disregards feedback from her housemates and then tells the Life Coaches it is their job to figure out why she has made the choices she has made. Rhonda mentions how it is funny how she gets really angry because her housemates know the truth about her and they are calling her out on it. Iyanla then states that “everything she is telling her sounds like she sells herself to the highest bidder rather than take responsibility for her life”. Lisa says she understands that. Rhonda then buts in that she keeps saying she gets it but she hasn’t done anything about it and that she expects people to fix her and not her fix herself. Rhonda then questions if she is really willing to do what it takes to be in the Starting Over house. Jill then emotionally speaks up that she feels that Lisa seems proud of her choices and how she has managed to “get by” in life. TJ tries to speak but Lisa completely cuts her off. Lisa angered says “do you want me to just go home” to TJ. Iyanla cuts in and says “that is exactly what you need to do” because there other people who would do anything to be in the position she is in today. Not only that but what she is doing “is an insult to the integrity of the Starting Over house”. Rhonda asks Lisa to start participating in the process in order to stay in the house. Lisa then breaks down. Iyanla says Lisa has “poisoned herself by disconnecting from the truth of her emotions”. Rhonda makes it known that Lisa is a middle aged woman who acts like a child. Lisa’s goal to “Grow Up” is then presented to her. She says she wants to be an adult who has something to give and to stand for something. Group is then dismissed.
Jessica then joins Dr. Stan for a meeting. Dr. Stan says that Jessica has not grieved the loss of her mother and this is the first time she is facing this loss. Jessica admits that she did not tell people how to help support her. She goes on to mention her relationship with her Dad and how she feels the most open with him but is reluctant to share some of her emotions in fear of worrying her father. Dr. Stan then asks how she felt about her Dad getting remarried. She mentions that she felt conflicted and that he remarrying made her feel as though he was not empathetic with her feelings. Dr. Stan then responses that he thinks her father is trying to tell her that he has moved on. The act of him remarrying had caused the death of Jessica’s mother to be truly set in stone. She felt her father had slapped her in the face by not being more involved in his children’s emotions. Dr. Stan mentioned that the tragic death of her mother was like things going from good to devastating in a split second. Dr. Stan says that Jessica should come to terms with her father’s decision and just wish for him to be happy.
Rhonda then meets with Lisa so they can create her steps. The steps they come up with are “Get a reality check”, “Define adulthood”, “Cut the apron strings”(break away from her parents), “Walking without crutches”, and “Soar”. Rhonda notes that Lisa mentions a lot of her feeling like she is treated like a baby all the time. Rhonda then comes up with an idea for Lisa to experience babyhood. Rhonda begins to pull out various baby items such as: a rattle, pacifier, and a bottle. Rhonda then announces to the housemates that “There is a baby in the house”. Lisa must now play the part of a baby, by acting it, dressing it, and being treated like it. While Lisa is changing into her baby clothes, Rhonda asks the housemates to treat her like a baby. TJ is asked to be “Baby Lisa’s” Mom. Rhonda thinks this will be a challenge for TJ considering her controlling and perfectionist behaviors or as Rhonda said “TJ as a parent is "Baby Lisa’s" worst nightmare”. Rhonda goes through a list of things “Baby Lisa” should participate in during the day such as nap time, eating at the kiddy table, using a sippy cup, going on a play date with Mom (TJ), and to be given a time out when she misbehaves. Lisa then returns to the room and all the housemates begin to baby her by putting a pacifier in her mouth, giving her a bottle, and asking her to put on a diaper, and putting a baby bonnet on her. Lisa is obviously struggling so Rhonda comforts her that this is to help her not to humiliate her.
Iyanla then meets with Jill where they discuss her weight issues. Jill states that the only thing she thinks defines her is “fat”. Iyanla asks her to discuss when the last time was she tried to lose weight. Jill responds that she had lost 17lbs at a center but once she got back to work she did not have time to commit to the weight loss. She said she admitted to herself she didn’t have the will power, and that she was almost comfortable with being disappointed and sad. Iyanla then tells Jill that she will meet with a weight control specialist. Iyanla mentions that once Jill can lose some weight the real issues will come out from hiding and that her life is on the line.
We then find “Baby Lisa” being fed and taken care of by the other housemates. TJ admits that it is difficult to play her mother because she doesn’t know how to identify with children. TJ then tells “Baby Lisa” that they are going to go on a play date. It then occurs to Lisa that she might have to walk around Los Angeles dressed like a baby. Before they could get out the door “Baby Lisa” throws a crying fit hoping that she won’t have to leave. They eventually leave and end up at a children’s play center that is filled with other little children. “Baby Lisa” is then left to play with the other children.
Jill then visits Jenny Craig and meets with a specialist (Bill) there. Bill asks her what her weight loss goal is. Jill responds she would like to be half of what she is now and she cannot get there in the mind set she is in currently. Bill tells her how her meals will be structured. Jill says she is confident she can do this but is also scared to death.
TJ back out the house and is telling the housemates how she is having a difficult time playing the mother role to “Baby Lisa”. Back at the play center “Baby Lisa” is engaging fully in child-like activities, and is playing with the other children. She admits she feels humiliated but is also secretly enjoying it. After her day of fun “Baby Lisa” returns to the house.
It is now time for Jessica to do her presentation on “her mother as a woman”. “She has put together a detailed artistic representation with different items symbolically representing something about her mother. She talked about her mother being giving and outgoing. She started out very excited but as she went on explaining her mother’s generous demeanor she began to get emotional. She then talked about her parents and how strong of a loving relationship they had. At the end of her presentation she left out a sigh of relief and compassion.
“Baby Lisa” is then explaining her day to Christina who is now putting on “Baby Lisa” pretend jewelry and nails. Allison then asks “Baby Lisa” if she wants a snack. “Baby Lisa” responds enthusiastically that she wants a cookie and milk. “Baby Lisa” says she doesn’t like grown ups except for her aunties (referring to her housemates and not TJ). TJ then realizes accidentally left “Baby Lisa’s” blanket in the car, and now “Baby Lisa” very unhappy beings yelling at TJ to get her blanket. TJ then tells “Baby Lisa” it is time for a “time out”, this does not go over well “Baby Lisa” continues to yell at TJ. TJ then takes away “Baby Lisa’s” cookie and her pretend jewelry. Jessica states she finally is beginning to see the real Lisa for the first time, which is a 3 year old child. We end of with “Baby Lisa” throwing an explosive tantrum.
Preview for Tuesday:
Lisa breaks down and claims she is really angry at her parents.
Jill reaches out for help because she feels sad, lonely, and not good enough.
Allison’s denial takes over while being questioned by Iyanla about her emotional honesty.
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