Starting Over Talk - Peer Coaching Support Site

This is my first post to this site. I was a fan of Staring Over and really, really, ...really miss it.

I'm having trouble dealing with a few things but will start here.

I had to move back to my home town last year or have to live in my car. Basically my life has been a bad country song...lost my job, lost my house, estranged from my son. To top everything else I had to put my the best dog in the world to sleep earlier this year.

I had to stay with a cousin-in-law for a while. I was an un-freeloader in that I did pay her rent when I finally got a food job as well as clean her house and buy groceries.

This is the problem. After I moved out in April I've only heard from her three times. My cousin (her husband) died from a brain tumor a few years ago and she's trying to see her house. She only calls me to help her fix her house. We live in an area where there are several little towns close to each other. I live in the bigger of the towns and that is where the majority of the shopping is.

I've been out to her place, 30 mile drive, a few times since April but quit driving out there when she couldn't drop by or call me. I called her on her birthday and invited her to dinner but she declined. She asked when my birthday was but she didn't call me.

I had some of my mail going to her house. I had changed my address with my bank but for some reason the change didn't go through. I found this out when I had ordered checks and I didn't get them.

I'm hurt and disappointed. I do realize i don't have any expectation of her calling but I am disappointed. She called the other day and wanted to know if I wanted to go to dinner with her and some friends to celebrate one of the friends birthday. She said she loves to celebrate birthday.

I know she saved me from living in my car but I'm hurt. I'm also tired of one-sided relationships.

I understand what you are saying. Some people are so ungrateful and can only think of themselves. When they are in need they will call upon you the first thing......you have helped them before and have a good heart. When it comes to something like you had written they then have no time.

I have a sister like that. She can only think about herself and is very ungrateful and selfish. She wants to complain about her job, her sexless marriage, how her life is so bad. When I needed someone to talk to she wasn't there for me. I think I got to "vent' for 2 min and then it had to be all about her.

It is so hard not to be uspset and so hard to walk away because you are family. I guess we just have to take it that we are good hearted people and no good deed goes undone.

Just try to understand that you are important and that you have to make your life go on with or without these people. I am not going to jump and the moment when she needs help. I am not a sounding board and have feelings also. Hopefully and I mean hopefully, and I'm not holding my breath, that they will understand that. They will just go to someone else who will listen!

Best wishes to you for making it back on your feet and not letting the worse get you down and out!!