Starting Over Talk - Peer Coaching Support Site

Yesterday I ran into an old flame! Not just any old flame, but my favorite. I hadn't seen him in about 4 years. He is married and happy it appears. I can't believe how it affected me though.

We had a really steamy relationship about 10 years ago. We worked together and had become best friends for over a year. We both were involved with other people so we kept it friends. It turned into a very deep love. THe problem is that he is considerably younger than me by about 12 years! I knew he would mature and find someone his own age, which is what happened. But still it was very painful when it happened. We went for years without seeing each other and then 4 years ago attended a dinner that reunited about 8 people from our old office. It was great. Just he and I stayed late and talked until early in the morning.

I could tell he wanted to kiss me but he didn't. I respect that.
A mutual friend at the dinner said it was obvious he was still in love with me. I tried to not think about it. He was involved with me when he met his wife and she knew all about our break up. I thought she would show up at the dinner, but she didn't. She did call him on his cell phone about every hour. In one call I heard him tell her, "You know I love you." I don't know what she saying, but I got the idea he was reassuring her that no hanky panky was going on.

Anyway, I will not involve myself with a married man, but the idea of kissing him again is so appealing. I know it's wrong, but I can't seem to get the vision out of my head.

I guess the best thing to do is stay far away from him.

I highly respect you for not wanting to get involved with a married man. You could be the one who gets hurt the most!! My ex and I were still married and he became involved with another woman. We divorced and then 2 months after they married.........now they are divorced!!

I have a High School Reunion coming up in July and will be 900 miles away from where I live now!! I didn't date anyone in my school so that is one thing that I don't need to worry about........I dated from another school! I probably won't even know who they are!!

Best of luck to you Debby and knowing how to be a real Woman and walk away when it could have been so easy to have this person and not think of his wife and possible children.

I have seen how affairs have really messed up people's lives and I do not want to cause pain to another woman. I guess I was just surprised that I still have such a strong reaction to this man. I thought I was way over him. I don't know. I'm going to try just keep it to myself and not try to stay in touch with him. We have a couple of mutual friends who do things with he and his wife. Funny but we have never appeared at the same event before.

Yesterday it was just a chance meeting in a resturant. I have gone to that place a least twice a week for lunch for the last 3 years and have never seen him there. I guess things happen for a reason.

I hope you have a great trip for your reunion. It will be fun to see people from your hometown, even if you don't know many of them.
Maybe there will be other unattached people there.

Awww......Debby..........big hugs!!!!

You certainly have my respect!!! I don't think feelings necessarily die.........and that's okay as long as you don't act on them. Obviously you will always have some wonderful memories to treasure and he is a part of who you have become!!! You will be so blessed for not putting yourself first in this situation........but don't be rough on yourself.......loving others is a God-given part of us.............

Thanks Grizz! I'm feeling a little better about the situation now that some time has passed. I'm still thinking of the good old times. LOL. I'm just going to keep it to myself. Hopefully, we won't run into each other for awhile.

Hi Debby... hugs from me too.

You're a wise lady... keep the memories... they can't hurt anyone.