Starting Over Talk - Peer Coaching Support Site

My cousin has just began caring for 2 children in her home. The older child is a boy age 4 and the sister is 2 yoa.

My cousin believes the 4 year year old has some kind of condition that could be ADHD. She is not sure of this, but suspects there is some problem with the boy. She has discussed the problem with the mother and grandmother, who both acknowlege the child's behavior as out of control.

The mother says she knows the child has problems to the extent that she has trouble getting anyone to keep him. He is very active, does not listen to instruction, is untruthful, very aggressive, is difficult to engage in activity for more than a minute or two. Apparently mother has not explored the cause for is behavior. The 2 year old girl is very well behaved and demonstrates none of the tendancies the brother does.

Anyway, my cousin and I discussed the importance of the children getting a nap, only the mother nor the prior care providers, have never insisted on a nap time. The boy brags that he doesn't have to take a nap. Both children refuse to nap.

Any ideas on how to get kids to nap whose parents don't enforce it?<br><br>Post edited by: Tara, at: 2007/08/13 20:44

The need for naps is as varied as children are!!

My kids outgrew naps before they were 2!! But they never had those extreme behavioral issues you mentioned.

What I did still keep to was &quot;quiet time&quot;.......important for children AND adults to have some time on their own.....learning to enjoy learning, reading, etc. and, at the same time, learning to respect the &quot;space&quot; and time of others.

It's definitely more difficult when parents are not on board, but when I did daycare I was just straight-forward with the parents and children about several &quot;house rules&quot; that I had........that way I didn't deal with the &quot;you're not my mommy&quot; issues. The rules I had were at my house and that was the end of it!

I'm sorry I wasn't a heck of a lot of help.........hope it helps a little!!

Thanks for the info Grizz. I never took naps either, but I was a well behaved child.

My mother said the same as you. She is a teacher and had taught, kindergarten, first and second grade classes. The younger ones have a quite time as you describe that they just rest and stay on their mat, whether or not they actually sleep.

UPdate. The little boy started doing really bizarre things like kicking my cousin, threatening to hurt her and destroying property in complete contempt for anything my aunt said. The mother is letting him go and live with his father, (the parents are separated). So, my cousin will not be keeping him until his conduct changes. They also are supposed to take him for an evaulation. Sje will continue keeping the little girl.

I had a client once who's child acted very similar to the boy. She was diagnosed with Oppositional Deviance Disorder. Many with this disorder are also ADHD. I looked it up on line and the symptons sound just like this child. I hope they get him the help he needs. It sounds as if children with this disorder do not get help, they are on a very sad path.

How sad Debby! I sure hope they get him the help he needs too.......it's just awful when there is help available but the kids don't get it early enough. I wish the best!

It really is the parent's responsibility to find help for the child. I think they just keep thinking that it's a discipline problem or that he will outgrow the behavior. They don't understand that it could be a real condition that is treatable. I think ignoring the situation is not wise.

It really makes me wonder what they are thinking about. Just before the little boy went to live with his father, he was exhibiting odd symtoms of excessive thirst and freguent urination. I know from personal experience that it can be signs of diabetes. Juvenile diabetes can be very dangerous if not treated. The child can go into a coma. My cousin informed the mother of these symptoms and suggested she get him tested for diabetes and mother said she would talk to the doctor the next time she took him in! I would think a parent would check those kinds of symptoms out immediately. Maybe I'm just paranoid because of my personal experience.

No, I don't think you're paranoid Debby. Just very aware! And I really don't understand how parents can act like they live in the 18th century without the medical advancements and early diagnoses and treatments??!!!

How do you not pursue the very best for your children?? A commentary on our times, I suppose.